Today at the OB appointment:
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Crazy pregnancy dream or premonition?
I woke up in a surprisingly calm state from a disturbing dream...I was taking a walk and noticed that my stomach felt lopsided, heavier on the right. I assumed it was one of those weird belly deforming contractions. Upon looking down, I was startled that my baby had curled up almost entirely to the right side (as she normally tends to do) and that I could SEE her yawning and stretching through my belly! It was as if my skin had become an opaque saran wrap and allowed me to see my daughter's features in soft, gummy bear definition...I cradled her through my belly and watched her move her little fists and squirm around as if she were tired of being so crammed in there...
We have our second appointment this week at 10:30a today. Monday's appointment had sent us to the hospital for closer monitoring and a fancier ultrasound to determine if Bean had enough fluid. Dr. Pravdin almost didn't check me because my numbers were acceptable last Thursday. I'm so glad I mentioned it. So, after drinking a huge sippy cup of iced water and another round of overpriced NST at the hospital, where they concluded Bean was doing great in there heart rate and movement-wise, we were sent down to radiology for the ultrasound. Kathy was not very friendly, but I was glad to see that Bean was happily moving around and was practicing breathing. SO weird to see her breathing when you know it's not air. Her head still measured ahead and her limbs a little behind. I was relieved when they downsized her weight to just about 7lbs. I had been concerned about needing a c-section to get her out, due to size, for a couple weeks now. The tech concluded my numbers were borderline, which isn't critical, but definitely not favorable. Hopefully we will see some progress today at our appointment since Easter is just 3 1/2 days away...I'm SO ready to have her now, but I keep on taking it one step at a time...
Perhaps my crazy dream was in response to all the strong contractions I've been feeling mixed with sheer exhaustion from lugging around all this weight. I'm so anxious for this pregnancy to be over so I can hold my precious little one. I find myself in tears at times from all the pelvic pain and even from her probing foot. There are so many things that I'm so excited about being able to do again after pregnancy, like taking the pleasant mile long walk to downtown to go to the Farmers Market or grab a bite to eat at one of the many restaurants. I want to sleep on my stomach, bend over normally to pick up something I've dropped with my fingers instead of toes, not pee every five minutes...just move without wincing! Now I just sound like I'm whining, which I kind of am...
We have our second appointment this week at 10:30a today. Monday's appointment had sent us to the hospital for closer monitoring and a fancier ultrasound to determine if Bean had enough fluid. Dr. Pravdin almost didn't check me because my numbers were acceptable last Thursday. I'm so glad I mentioned it. So, after drinking a huge sippy cup of iced water and another round of overpriced NST at the hospital, where they concluded Bean was doing great in there heart rate and movement-wise, we were sent down to radiology for the ultrasound. Kathy was not very friendly, but I was glad to see that Bean was happily moving around and was practicing breathing. SO weird to see her breathing when you know it's not air. Her head still measured ahead and her limbs a little behind. I was relieved when they downsized her weight to just about 7lbs. I had been concerned about needing a c-section to get her out, due to size, for a couple weeks now. The tech concluded my numbers were borderline, which isn't critical, but definitely not favorable. Hopefully we will see some progress today at our appointment since Easter is just 3 1/2 days away...I'm SO ready to have her now, but I keep on taking it one step at a time...
Perhaps my crazy dream was in response to all the strong contractions I've been feeling mixed with sheer exhaustion from lugging around all this weight. I'm so anxious for this pregnancy to be over so I can hold my precious little one. I find myself in tears at times from all the pelvic pain and even from her probing foot. There are so many things that I'm so excited about being able to do again after pregnancy, like taking the pleasant mile long walk to downtown to go to the Farmers Market or grab a bite to eat at one of the many restaurants. I want to sleep on my stomach, bend over normally to pick up something I've dropped with my fingers instead of toes, not pee every five minutes...just move without wincing! Now I just sound like I'm whining, which I kind of am...
Saturday, March 23, 2013
Dane gets a haircut
I can barely contain my laughter as I sit here next to a Korean dude getting a perm and bobbing his head to the very classy lyrics of the song that's on. The lyrics seem to be, "I only came here for two reasons: bitches and the drinks. Bitches and the drinks. Bitches and the bitches and the bitches and the drinks." Dane looks a little worried and I admit, it's much shorter than what we had discussed. We were going for somewhere in between the length of Dane's doppelganger, David Gilmour, and the shaggy, laid back look of Kurt Cobain. In the end, Dane loved the way his hair felt and I like that his hair is now manageable! It'll take some getting used to since I haven't seen my husband with short hair in a long time...and I've NEVER seen him with short hair AND glasses. I think he looks like an artsy indie guy. Very different from the 80s black metal band hair that just got hacked off! I wish I had taken a before picture...
Oh, and I also found the lovely song on youtube :)
Oh, and I also found the lovely song on youtube :)
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Is today "The Day"?
Yesterday was the date I had guessed little Bean would arrive. Instead, I spent the day lounging and went for an hour session of foot reflexology to try to induce. I had an original sized Banana Berry smoothie with soy protein from Jamba Juice, even though I'd normally never ingest more than a sixteen ounce beverage from there. This may be the last day...maybe. Dane and I went out for dinner at Phuong Thao Vietnamese restaurant in downtown Sunnyvale for our "last" supper. He ordered a whole pompano with a tangy tomato sauce and I ordered the seafood egg noodle soup. Why do I order seafood anything when I normally take two bites of it then give the the rest to Dane? What actually sent us there was my craving for vegetarian Viet egg rolls--yum! It was too late to go to a movie, so we stopped by Safeway to pick up some snacks for the big day and rented MIB 3 from Redbox. We had to unload pictures from the camera when we got home so Dane basically fell asleep through most of the movie he picked out :) That's okay. It may have been the "last" night he was able to do that...
Today, we have an appointment at 10:45am to determine whether or not I'll have to be induced. I have to leave in an hour and there are so many mixed emotions swirling around in my gut. All night I had laid there feeling Bean's sleep and wake cycle. From rhythmic writhing to her sticky foot syndrome where she feels like she's having a seizure, I thought about the super strong sac surrounding her little body. The fluid that my body instinctively knows to regenerate. Every amazing cell that needs no guidance to perform essential duties to make life possible...I hope there is good news today. One can't help but feel defective when their told that their body is performing any less than normal.
Today, we have an appointment at 10:45am to determine whether or not I'll have to be induced. I have to leave in an hour and there are so many mixed emotions swirling around in my gut. All night I had laid there feeling Bean's sleep and wake cycle. From rhythmic writhing to her sticky foot syndrome where she feels like she's having a seizure, I thought about the super strong sac surrounding her little body. The fluid that my body instinctively knows to regenerate. Every amazing cell that needs no guidance to perform essential duties to make life possible...I hope there is good news today. One can't help but feel defective when their told that their body is performing any less than normal.
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
The Waiting Game...
I'm sitting on the couch with my trusty heating pad placed firmly between my Nightmare Before Christmas covered pillow and sore back...savoring the smell of dark chocolate Ghiradelli brownies baking in the oven. I realize that these may be the last brownies I bake before I transition to motherhood. I made sure to appreciate every step of the baking process. The freedom to do every task without having to think about anything or anyone else...As much as it sounds like I am dreading the impending birth of our daughter, I assure you that I'm not! I'm celebrating the end of an era that had its ups and downs, twists and turns. These days I find myself treasuring all the little things that have occurred along the way.
Yesterday's prenatal appointment was...interesting. Dane had taken the day off to spend some time with me so we leisurely made our way up to the appointment. We stopped at Starbuck's for coffee and at Noah's for egg & cheese bagels. Our wait at the office to be roomed was unusually short and as we sat in the room waiting for the doc, we had no idea what news awaited us. Dr. Pravdin came in with her usual "neutral" demeanor, swabbed me for the strep B test again and then began to take measurements. Weigh in: 7.29 lbs, with a +/- 20% variance. Yes, Bean, your head is still gigantic! The doc couldn't check how dilated my cervix was because I was too uncomfortable, but what she could tell me was that I was still 100% effaced, station 0. My amniotic fluid was even lower than last week, which is cause for concern. She would like for us to come back on Thursday to measure my fluids again. If it's gotten lower, she will start induction Thursday evening. Dane and I aren't too happy about a probable induction, but at least we both agree that Bean's well being is most important. The only fear I've had about labor and delivery is coming true. Once I got pregnant I started to worry less about an alien being exploding out of my vagina (how I had always described the birthing process before) but started freaking out instead about all the complications that could occur that might make our child less than perfectly healthy. I dread the thought of forcing our precious little Bean out of the comfort of my womb before she's ready. I dread the thought of her having to be cut out because of fetal distress even more...how I wish this pregnancy had been less complicated.
I suppose we are happy sad. Happy that we might get to meet our daughter sooner than anticipated, but sad under these unnatural circumstances. Bean has been, what I like to think, gleefully bopping around in there. Her back, butt and limbs can be easily made out with a firm rub of my belly...I'd like to take at least one more high quality video of her moving around in there before she's born. Yesterday, Dane and I had a little pre-birth photoshoot out by the lake near the Googleplex. We realized that we really didn't document this pregnancy very well with photos. I hope that one day Bean will be able to look at the pictures and see how happy her parents were just knowing she exists. There is so much love for this unborn child from everyone, it's overwhelming, but we feel so very blessed!
Yesterday's prenatal appointment was...interesting. Dane had taken the day off to spend some time with me so we leisurely made our way up to the appointment. We stopped at Starbuck's for coffee and at Noah's for egg & cheese bagels. Our wait at the office to be roomed was unusually short and as we sat in the room waiting for the doc, we had no idea what news awaited us. Dr. Pravdin came in with her usual "neutral" demeanor, swabbed me for the strep B test again and then began to take measurements. Weigh in: 7.29 lbs, with a +/- 20% variance. Yes, Bean, your head is still gigantic! The doc couldn't check how dilated my cervix was because I was too uncomfortable, but what she could tell me was that I was still 100% effaced, station 0. My amniotic fluid was even lower than last week, which is cause for concern. She would like for us to come back on Thursday to measure my fluids again. If it's gotten lower, she will start induction Thursday evening. Dane and I aren't too happy about a probable induction, but at least we both agree that Bean's well being is most important. The only fear I've had about labor and delivery is coming true. Once I got pregnant I started to worry less about an alien being exploding out of my vagina (how I had always described the birthing process before) but started freaking out instead about all the complications that could occur that might make our child less than perfectly healthy. I dread the thought of forcing our precious little Bean out of the comfort of my womb before she's ready. I dread the thought of her having to be cut out because of fetal distress even more...how I wish this pregnancy had been less complicated.
I suppose we are happy sad. Happy that we might get to meet our daughter sooner than anticipated, but sad under these unnatural circumstances. Bean has been, what I like to think, gleefully bopping around in there. Her back, butt and limbs can be easily made out with a firm rub of my belly...I'd like to take at least one more high quality video of her moving around in there before she's born. Yesterday, Dane and I had a little pre-birth photoshoot out by the lake near the Googleplex. We realized that we really didn't document this pregnancy very well with photos. I hope that one day Bean will be able to look at the pictures and see how happy her parents were just knowing she exists. There is so much love for this unborn child from everyone, it's overwhelming, but we feel so very blessed!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Better late than never...
I have gone back and forth the past couple months about whether creating a vlog or writing in my journal would encourage me to document this journey better. So much has happened and yet I feel this strange laziness to just focus on the event, live in the moment...to hell with the scribbles on paper. I wonder if Bean will prefer reading my oldschool journal one day or seeing this electronic version complete with pictures and videos. Personally, I would've chosen the former just because I love the smell of old paper and imagining how many anxious fingers flipped through the very same pages...it's a bit of fill-in-the-blanks when it comes to imagery, but I've always been blessed with a crazy imagination :)
This morning, I finished my third set of swaddle blankets and burp cloths. I've been appalled at how much these simple products cost and decided that I'd try my hand at it. So far, they look pretty darn spiffy. They're in the wash right now, so we'll see how they turned out after the dryer test!
This morning, I finished my third set of swaddle blankets and burp cloths. I've been appalled at how much these simple products cost and decided that I'd try my hand at it. So far, they look pretty darn spiffy. They're in the wash right now, so we'll see how they turned out after the dryer test!
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